LightSpring Transformations

 

(Names and personally identifying information has been remove)

Question: I am still questioning what my place in his (Cliff’s) life is, are we able to let our guards down and embrace each other for who we are….I suppose I am wondering what I need to do, what is my task and what are we in each others lives: Do we have a future together?

The man known to you in this life as Cliff is undergoing a severe transition in his life. He sees a potential future ahead but has many issues from childhood and early adulthood that plague him and make him feel he is an inappropriate choice for a mate, although he would probably never admit this. The man Cliff is emotionally-based yet has little access to the intellectualization of his emotions. In other words, he feels, and feels intensely, yet is unable to or has great difficulty putting words to his feelings.

You find this enormously frustrating, as you are fairly well in touch with your emotions and do not at this time see how anyone can be so different from you in that regard.

Cliff does feel a strong pull toward you but for him it is all mixed in with fear and hesitancy and inadequacy, He cannot yet separate these feelings, and equates you at times with those who in his early years acted in ways that caused him to feel fearful, hesitant, and inadequate. This is from nothing that you are doing, only you have unlocked the doors for him to his childhood and he cannot yet separate you from that time, even though he knows in his mind that there is no connection there.

Until the man Cliff can begin to separate the now-reality from the then-reality, he will be unable to truly connect with anyone and will continue to hold a series of meaningless relationships with non-threatening women such as the one he has entangled himself with now. He feels a large sense of guilt for this also because he truly does care for you and wishes that he could allow himself to maintain that intimacy with you that he admits is quite enjoyable, but then again the fear gets to him and he becomes paralyzed and he allows himself to be swept away by his unchecked emotion.

As for you, we see that there really is little you can do to alter this situation for him because it is truly his to own and not yours. However, we do see some point in allowing yourself if you will to become for him a sort of touchpoint, a grounded force of stability that he can come to at his choosing for healing and renewal. We realize that this may be difficult for you as you wish for more out a relationship, however the mate agreement between you still exists and there is still a possibility that things will change enough for him so that you can fulfill that agreement. As we stated before, he is in a state of transition and so may be able to step out of this hole he has dug for himself and to allow you in.

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