LightSpring Transformations

 

Question:  I would like to understand the root of the pain that appeared as a result of feeling a little bit of sabotage to an enterprise I made by the man Daniel.

We see that for you, it seems to come under the area of spheres of influence.  In other words, each person has energetic connections a number of other people in their lives.  This number is fluid as people constantly come and go from your life. In addition, the amount of depth of connection you establish with each of the people in your sphere varies depending on the relationship and also for other reasons.  Each of you then carries around with you this sphere through which you influence other people energetically and are influenced by them. You will recall that we spoke to you earlier about circles in terms of perceiving the love that follows you throughout your day.  You may regard the sphere of energetic influence and the circles of love as essentially the same things.  Now, obviously these spheres will often intersect with the spheres belonging to others. Usually when this occurs there is simply a merging of energy and the merging is relatively harmonious.  Some people, however, are more comfortable in their lifetime putting harder edges around their spheres, firmer boundaries. When coming up against such a sphere then, one would feel a clash, a disharmony.  One would feel pushed out of the way and inconsequential.  When coming up against someone else’s hard edge there is a rebound, a recoil that occurs, and all the energy pushes up against you, and such a way that creates an enormous amount of discomfort.  It takes time, then, for the ripples to soften and for the energy in your sphere to return to its normally more quiet level of activity.  We would say that this is one of the things that has occurred for you this evening.

The second issue for you has to do with identity.  You have been choosing lately to try on some new identities to see how they feel, how they fit.  One of these identities is one that you’ve been carrying with you for a long time. Carrying with you but not wearing it; it’s been waiting for a special occasion.  You’ve been feeling lately that it’s been getting closer to the time that you can wear this identity.  And now it’s as if you see someone else wearing it, and there is the pain of the loss that could have been.  A part of you that’s so deeply connected to you and who you want to be, and you see someone else trying on your clothes.  The ones that are too special for you to wear, but you know they’re yours and belong to you.  So there is the pain of that loss to contend with. 

The third thing operating here is that of a brief but memorable past life occurrence that happened between you at the fragment known to you in this life as Daniel.  This created a distasteful association for each of you that has been triggered by various fears that operate within each of you during the present lifetime.  Again this was a brief interaction.  It occurred when you were hiding in a small cathedral in northeastern France, close to what is now Belgium.  There were a number of you taking refuge there from what was a press gang.  You ended up having to stay there for several days without food or adequate “comfort facilities”.  Some among your party perished due to prolonged exposure in the cold stone – there was nothing available to burn for warmth.  The press gang awaited patiently outside as they secured quarters with some of the townspeople and awaited for you to make your eventual exit.  As you did so a number of you were captured.  The man known to you as Daniel was part of the press gang, and you were among the captured.  But before you could be taken to be put into servitude aboard a ship, you dealt him sufficient injuries in order to make your escape into the forest.  No karma resulted, but again it was a distasteful situation for both of you.  He had a lifelong remembrance of your encounter through the loss of one eye and the partial loss of use of one hand, and you fled into a period of time of constant fear of similar occurrence.  What follows you now, then, is simply as we said before of triggering of fears that you are examining.  Yours have to do with involuntary imprisonment, both physically and metaphorically.  His have to do with breaking free of the “rules” and dealing with “renegades”. Again, your interaction in this lifetime would likely have been relatively benign were it not for what has been triggered in relatively recent exchanges.

The last thing operating here is perhaps the most significant of this group, for it is a pattern established early in childhood and follows you to this day and likely beyond. It is something chosen for this lifetime to be one of the major themes you examine under different circumstances. It is of holding strong to the core of who you are despite the circumstances that surround you.  You see how this has been difficult at different times in your life when there were various factors influencing perceptions, especially those of yourself.  What has happened then today has reminded you of the separation you feel between that inner core of yourself and how you think others perceive you.  You have spent a great deal of time and energy in this life building up your defenses into an identity of sorts that others could interacting you, knowing all the while that it will eventually crumble to reveal what lies beneath.  It is simply your fear letting go of something that does not truly belong to you, that causes you to feel empty and fail to see the shining light that is beneath the identity that you have crafted, but the process is painful and seems to require courage, which is something that you sometimes feel you lack. Especially since so much of what you have accepted about yourself has come to you from other sources, sources other than within you.  As is the case with so many things you are examining, you prefer not to do so with subtlety but instead to create symbolic gestures that you can refer back to time and again.

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